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"As with any sport, time will tell what is brought to the table
and what happens during the course of a season. Well this season is no
different and while things are coming along nicely, there are a few
pieces left to be put into place. With that said, beginning today, I
will be writing a journal to chronicle the events that happen throughout
the season to give everyone who reads this site a brief overview of my
thoughts and ideas as the season progresses. Many of the thoughts and
ideas will be personal and many will be outspoken. I will do my best not
to offend anyone's emotional ego or psyche, but at the same time, I will
be honest and forthright with my comments and hopefully that will be an
inspiration as well as good water cooler conversation for those bluesy
Monday mornings. With that said, please check back periodically because
the journal entries will come at anytime." - Dean Cosme, February 21, 2003
That's how manager Miami-Dade Mets Manager Dean Cosme started his beloved Journal Entries
that came to be the weekly read of the SFBL. The words
were prophetic because that same season Dean started the journals,
was the same season the MD Mets won their first ever Championship
in the SFBL. Many managers and players throughout the SFBL had
gone to Dean to let him know that they read the journals and news
articles. Some criticized the journals as being harsh, while
others saw the reason behind the striking words. And others, well,
they simply found the whole thing humorous.
Either
way, the point of the journals, as so simply stated in the original
quote, was to get an insight as to the manager's thoughts throughout the season. After the Spring 2003 Season was completed, Dean
contemplated the idea of shelving the Journals because he thought the
idea had run it's course. But after speaking with several of the
players and a few other managers, they convinced him to continue the
journals. The journals ran for another 6 seasons before ending
before the Fall 2006 season began.
So here you have first season to
read and review. Enjoy!
The Spring 2003 Championship Season
Journal Entry #1
February 22, 2003 - As I was traveling back
from the SFBL Awards BBQ, I was reflecting on the
accomplishments that my teams and teams that I have been
involved with over the years have made. And it was then that
I realized what was missing from our team. What's missing is
attitude. What's missing is swagger. In high school, I
played on my class's intramural softball team. Over the 3
years that we were together, we lost 1 game. And that game
was in 10th grade vs. the Seniors in the championship game.
2 years, and about 20 games later, we were undefeated and 2
time champs. I think our record was 35-1 over 3 seasons. Not
bad. But why? Because we knew we were going to win. We just
knew and we told you too! Many a challenger told us how good
they were. We proved we were better. Our gym coaches even
told us of class teams that they thought were better. We
beat them and made them understand you couldn't possibly
beat us. In the years since that team, I have experienced
only a few championships. Many second place finishes. A few
last place finishes and many finishes in the middle of the
pack. Only 2 championships though. And the correlation
between those winning teams was attitude. But, when you've
been a team that has not accomplished much how do you
acquire that swagger? It starts from the top. Me. I need to
carry myself like I know we are going to win and the rest
will follow. Not because they are puppy dogs who do as
they're
told. Not in the least. They will follow because they know it's
where they belong. They belong on the road to greatness. On the
road of destiny. On the road to the Championship. The Road to
the Championship has begun. The practice will pay off. The
players will succeed and the team will win. Practice has shown
that the road is a rocky one. A road filled with potholes,
divots, bruises and bumps. The road has 15 stops on its route.
We are on the road now. First stop, next week March 2, 2003.
Journal Entry #2
February 27, 2003 - Last night was the final batting
practice before the season starts. Not everyone was there but at
least it was half of the team. I think the guys are being very
receptive to the "winning" attitude adjustment. I think anyone
would be comfortable in that thought process. It's just training
yourself to think that way that takes the longest to change.
When I'm out driving around, I think about what I can implement
to make the team better. What I can add to the mix to help us
improve. I have thought of one thing. Hit-downs. As a team, we
all now have to take part in hit downs before any game starts. I
have structured it in such a way, that it's almost impossible to
miss doing them. First, the team will be separated into groups
of 4-5 players. The first group will go off and do their hit
downs while the rest continue to warm up, get loose or do
whatever it is they do to get ready. This allows for people who
are late to still participate. Then the next group will go next
and do their hit-downs. And so forth. It should work well as
long as we keep track of the time. If we are the visitors, we
need to take the field 30 minutes before game time to do all our
defensive drills. Then with 15 minutes left, we can get the
entire team hit-downs before the game starts. It wouldn't be
several rounds of 4-5 balls, but more like 1 round of 15-20
balls and done. That way everyone gets a little action and is
ready for the game. It's the little things that count. This can
turn into a big thing that will really count.
Journal Entry #3
March 10, 2003 - I can't help but think how good this team
would be if we didn't commit errors like we do. 15 errors in 2
games is way too much and down right unacceptable. We had this
problem last season before we got things under control.
Fortunately for us, we at least won our second game and now we
are 1-1 as opposed to 0-2. I'll take a win over a loss any day.
We hit the cover off the ball yesterday on Miami Beach. We
strung together a series of hits that made me proud. We hit like
I know we can hit. That kind of hitting is just so contagious.
6th inning, 3 consecutive hits, 4 hits total, 6 batters. 7th
inning, 4 hits, 3 extra base hits (2 doubles and a homer). that
kind of hitting is going to win us many games. I know there are
going to be games where we don't hit. But we can minimize those
games. Our hitting is good enough to overcome a slow start. And
I think our pitching is strong enough to overcome the lack of
hitting on any given Sunday. But at the moment, what concerns me
is our defense. I'm at a loss mentally as to what our problem
is. I can start back with our practices. I don't think we
concentrated enough on defense. Everyone wanted to do batting
practice. That's fine and dandy, but it's defense and pitching
that win the big ones. Our defense must improve. Our defense
will improve. We are just too talented to continue on this path.
Much like last season, we are starting slow defensively. We are
a team that thrives on patterns. We get in a groove when we are
playing every week. It will come around. It must.
Random Thoughts: Carlos Yedo is everything I thought he would
be. Good mind, good hitter. His attitude will rub off on this
team.
Next Random Thought: Humberto is better than what I thought he
would be. He has an incredible eye at the plate and probably the
fastest hands on the team. Him and Carlos Yedo will carry this
team.
Last Random Thought: Elis is the leader of this team. Problem
is, he doesn't know it. As his hitting goes, so do we. It's no
coincidence that as soon as he entered yesterday's game, we
started hitting. Now if his stellar defense that he's shown in
the past would just resurface before we start giving the games
away for real.
Journal Entry #4
March 18, 2003 -
Imagine if you would, a team that, after
the week is done and you've worked your butt off all week, they
looked towards Sunday as a day to get away from the world and
just think about baseball. That would be great. That's what I
do. Baseball is not my life. This league is not my life. But
baseball on Sundays is my escape. My way to forget that I work
the next 5 days. My way to forget that I have house work to do.
My way to forget that I have house projects to complete. It's my
way of leaving the doldrums of everyday life and pretend that I
am a baseball player. Now, I don't expect my players/teammates
to see things my way, but I wish they could understand that I
care about how we play and I care about the results of our play.
No one on this team signed on and paid $150 so they could lose
or just show up. I know that they paid to win. So why is it so
hard to get them to parlay that internal feeling into an emotion
on the field? Why can't the player who has enough self control
to go to work, or go to school on time, put that much effort
into getting to the game on time? Why can't the effort put into
drinking all night, be put into being on time and the best they
can be at that time on the field? Why can't these same players
that shell out the money, control themselves and understand that
their actions or non-actions affect the very soul of this team?
By arriving late, or not at all, it affects the way the team
plays and it affects the outcome of the game. The 14 players on
this team, were not just people who showed up and gave me money.
They are on this team because I know they can play the game. If
I didn't think that the 14 players I have right now, were any
good, I am in a situation where I can actually tell them, Thanks
for your time, but I have someone to play for you now. But,
that's not the case, because I think everyone on this team can
do their job and secondly, I'm not like that. To me, the players
I have, represent the best players that I can field. I know that
in some cases, there are better players on other teams. But when
it comes down to it, I think the collection of players we have
are some of the best. We have not shown that so far this season.
But we will. We'll put it together soon and make a run at this
thing. Luckily, it's still early. But it's getting late quick.
If they only knew.
Journal Entry #5
March 26, 2003 - After games, my wife drives home while I
"recover" from the game. Sometimes I talk a bit and sometimes I
just sit in silence, wondering about what had just happened a
few moments before, when the game ended. This week, my
wife, and I talked about the game a bit. We talked about how
noticeable Michael's velocity has dropped. And we also talked
about something that was said to me after the game by one of the
players. He said to me that we do not play with a sense of
urgency. With that said, there are a few points to make about
this. 1) Michael's velocity is a concern because we are running
out of arms on the team. Something that was supposed to be our
strength before the season started, is now fast becoming a
weakness.
2) We have no sense of urgency until late or even sometimes, too
late.
If we had played the game last Sunday as if we were losing by
one and it was the 8th or 9th innings, we may have won, because
we are a clutch team and we do hit best when it's on the line.
I've looked at the stats and noticed that we scored most of our
runs after the 6th innings in most games. The 7th and 8th
innings are our best innings. But it's what happens before and
after those innings that are my concern. Our pitching is so weak
right now that our defense needs to step it up. It's weak enough
to raise a red flag. We need either Fernando to come in and play
more, or I may need to step in again and become a starter.
That's something I don't want to do. I'm not a starter. I'm more
of a reliever, if a pitcher at all.
But that's not all. After my meeting last week with the team, I
realized something. This team as a whole, not individually, but
as a whole, has no focus. I have a player telling me that my
meeting was too long. I have players plain out not listening to
me and others just playing along. In one ear, out of the other.
It's something I think about a lot. I think about whether this
is a waste of my time. Maybe I should care so much. Maybe I
should just not have my little speeches during the games. Maybe
I should just let them play, because they obviously don't really
listen to me. They only do what I say when it's a managerial
decision to be made. No one on this team has the balls to speak
up and inspire their teammates. I tired of trying. I'm tired of
repeating myself. They're late all the time. I tell them not to
be late and they still are. I tell them to warm up and they
continue to talk and not get dressed. It's frustrating. I'm
close to giving up. I'm close to just letting the inmates run
the asylum. Imagine what would happen....How funny. Maybe I
should hand the team over to Elis or Ruben. Maybe they should
run the team. Will the guys listen to them? Doubtful. I think
many players are just there because it's something to do on a
Sunday. Most everyone is there to play. But some are just there.
Should I institute penalties? If you're late, you don't start,
period. What if everyone's late? Who starts? Good question. I'm
close to giving up. Do I need this? I see the guys in the older
division, play because they love the game. They do it because
its fun. And they have fun playing. My guys? I don't know why
they play. Sometimes it's not fun for me because I feel like a
father who is disciplining more than managing. This season may
be more telling than I first thought. Will I rebuild again? Will
there be a need to rebuild? Should I bother to rebuild? After
this season, I'll have to revisit these questions and make a
decision. For now, I'm in for the ride, I just don't know how
long I'm going to steer the ship.
Journal Entry #6
March 31, 2003 - I still have hope that this season is not
lost. We're now 2-2-1 and should be heading north in the
standings. We face the UM Phillies again this coming week and we
again should have an advantage because they will be playing a
double header and their pitching is questionable after Steve,
their manager and main starting pitcher. If he starts the first
game, he won't be playing in the second. Question is, can he
afford not to start the first game? Regardless, I am feeling
pretty good about the team. Sunday's assault on the Lauderdale
Mets helped the psyche of the team. They realized they can hit.
Sometimes it takes games like these to awaken the hitting giants
that are dormant. Sunday also brought the guys together a bit
because of the food after the game. Everyone stuck around a bit
and ate some food that Michael's wife cooked and enjoyed each
other's company. That's all well and good, but I still feel a
little on the outside of things. I really don't know how much
this team respects me, if at all. I think they do. I know a few
who do, but some others I can't quite read. Eddie Hernandez
mentioned to me during the Mets game that I have let the reigns
go a bit. I don't coach third as much as I used to. It's
slightly true. I had stopped coaching third for awhile because I
was pitching and I didn't want to go out on the coach's box and
stand in the heat. So the team took up the slack, especially
Joe, Ruben and Elis. So, I continue to allow them to coach
third. There are times when I wish I could make the calls, but
I've learned to live with it. It goes with the "Let the Inmates
Run the Asylum" edict that I mentioned last journal entry. But
at the same time, I know that when I need to step in and be the
manager, everyone looks to me. I do need to remind everyone once
in awhile that I am still in charge. But on the flip side, I
still get a sense that this team is highly combustible. I don't
know what makes some of these guys tick. It may be a good thing
and it may be bad. If I knew some of these guys a bit better, I
might be able to accommodate things a little better. I just
don't know though. Some guys are tough to read. I just wish some
guys would be more open. I'm always up for a good conversation
and I'm a great listener. There are some times though, that even
I question whether or not I am a good manager or just happen to
be the guy who puts the team together and watches from first
base. I know there's more to managing but in this league,
there's not a lot of science to it. It's not like we have a
25-man roster and a full pitching staff. I probably could do
wonders with that. Plus I have to play everyone. I wish in some
cases there would be definitive starters, but there isn't. I
know who I would start all the time and who would sit. I think
guys on this team would know it themselves. It's not like being
a bench player is bad. You just need to know your role. I know
that if I were on a different team, I probably wouldn't be
getting that much batting time. But I know that I would be
getting playing time on the field because of my defense. I think
to be a good manager and a good player, you need to know and
admit to your weaknesses. Even then, I know that most of these
guys are very good. But the rules state everyone plays. And
that's a good thing. We're a good team. I hope these guys know
that and understand that. If they do, it will translate into
wins. But they have to have confidence and I think sometimes
they lose it quickly. I wish I could bottle yesterday's game and
open it every Sunday. That would be cool.
Journal Entry #7
April 11, 2003 - We're 2-2-1. I think we should be 4-1 or 3-2
at worst. But hey, at least we're not 0-5. I don't know what
this team needs for it to realize it's own potential. I, myself,
have been victim to this season's quirky happenings. I felt as
if I've been a liability at times at first base. But I know I'm
not. As far as I know, my ability has never been questioned. But
then again, many people talk under their breath and never really
let you know how they feel about things. I've always questioned
why people on the team don't talk to me more. This team is
better than most at it because for the most part, I've known
several of the players for almost 3 years now. But in general,
players don't talk to me. I don't know if they're afraid or
what. I was encouraged early in the season when Carlos Yedo
called me a few times during the week and spoke with me. That
was good stuff. But I get a sense that when I call someone on
the phone in the evening, they really don't want to talk to me
about the team too much. I don't know. Maybe I'm too sensitive
about things like that. Maybe I shouldn't care so much. I wonder
sometimes of the guys think I care too much. I know they don't
care. As I've said before, I think only a few guys care enough,
but the rest don't care at all. it was very evident after the
meeting we had at Killian a few weeks ago. I've been asked
questions about things we discussed at the meeting, like they
were never mentioned. We went over the signs as a team and
people still ask me what the key is. They don't get it. They
never got it. That's the difference between making to the next
level and never realizing the dream. I had a friend that I
worked with, who played in the Chicago White Sox system that for
the most part, if you see him, you'd say that he's too small, or
too thin to be a major leaguer. But that didn't stop his dream.
Coming out of high school, he was a top prospect from Miami, but
surgery to scope his elbow, kept him out of his last few games
of his senior season and scouts he had known that were ready to
offer him a deal, shook his hand and told him good luck. All
because he had his elbow scoped. But that didn't stop him. He
enrolled at a JUCO in central Florida to continue his pursuit of
playing Pro baseball. There was an open tryout for 2 spots left
on the team. Although they weren't looking for a shortstop, they
chose him anyway because of his ability. After two years, he
tried to catch on with an upper university, but he showed up at
an open tryout for the Chicago White Sox for 1 remaining spot on
the team. He made it. He played in the New York-Penn League for
3 years before injuries plagued him and he was let go. He made
$1000/month. Not much when you think about it. But he lived out
his dream. His dream ended prematurely, but he kept on going
until he had nothing left to give. He continued to play for MABA
and NABA (Local hardball leagues from Miami in the 80's and
early 90's) and toured the country playing in Tournaments. But
to him it wasn't the same. Him and I still speak from time to
time. He misses the game but is happy playing golf now. he gave
it a shot. Because he loved the game and had talent for it. Our
own Carlos Yedo lived the dream. He played professionally for
several years. But it came to an end as well. It's not because
he didn't have talent. He's very talented. There are all sorts
of reasons why people make it or don't make it. But at least he
was giving it a shot. But others. They don't care. They've
wasted talent they have on drugs, booze and babes. I always
wondered why it was that people chose that path. Those things
don't get anyone anywhere. It's doesn't help you succeed in
life. Most of the time, when the "party's over", you're left
alone. There's no one there to help you put everything back
together. They have their own lives to sort out. They can't help
you. Yeah it was fun. Yeah, you had a great time. But what were
you left with. A hangover and an empty wallet. No one's going to
fill up that wallet expect yourself. That's why it bothers me
when people don't care. Especially in a team atmosphere.
Especially on a baseball team. It's never about one individual.
One person can't play all nine positions at once. It's a group
effort and when one person goes astray, it's has an adverse
affect on the psyche of the team and an indirect affect on the
outcome of the game. A little more care is all I ask. I don't
think it's a lot to ask. Do you?
Journal Entry #8
April 28, 2003 - Wow, it's been awhile since I've written down
my thoughts. From time to time I've had things to write about
but I haven't had the time. Then there were times when I had the
time. but I wasn't focused on baseball. That tends to happen
when you lose your job and you are on the hunt for a new one.
But that's another story all together. Anyhow, it's been 2 weeks
since the team took the field and I'm concerned that the team
will come out flat next Sunday against the Bombers. But I will
hold a batting practice this week at Tropical to hopefully
combat the doldrums of not playing. But things seem to be a bit
on edge with the team. A lot of players status' are on shaky
ground. Eddie Fuentes is leaving for a job in Alabama. That's
good for him, sad for me. Jose's schedule changed, although it's
not supposed to interfere, I always fear that it may. But that's
the chance I take for wanting to have him on the team. I have
other situations on the team that I won't speak about, but it
puts a little fear in the back of my mind. I think the schedule
is going to be tough from here on out. We have the Bombers and
SouthCom in the next 3 weeks. Along with having to play a few
teams again. There are a lot of strong teams in our league, but
I still believe we have the strongest team in terms of hitting
and pitching. The only problem is that our pitchers need to get
healthy. Carlos Ruiz should be able to pitch by now and
fortunately for Michael Pichardo, we've had 3 of the last 4
weeks off and he did not pitch in the one game we played, so
that should help his elbow problems he's been having. With the
addition of Elis as a viable option as a reliever, we've been
able to add depth to the staff. That depth also includes myself.
But I like to think of myself as a change of pace reliever now
as opposed to the starter I was forced to be a few seasons ago.
But since that time, I've learned a few more things about
pitching. I've learned more about the mental side of it and how
to use my lack of velocity to my advantage. I've also tinkered
with my delivery very slightly. To my dismay though, I've seemed
to have lost my ability to use the outside of the plate to my
advantage the way I used to. Conversely, I've been able to go
inside better on hitters in my last few outings, but that's been
against my own game plan (actually Danny's game plan of keeping
my pitches away from batters).
Speaking of game plan's, I wish for once, that players would
understand the importance of having a "plan" when they go
against a pitcher. Now I know it's unfair to compare Major
League Baseball to our league, but the philosophies are the
same. Pitching and defense win games and hitting is relative to
pitching. So with that said, my point will take me to hitting.
Many of the players on our team, have no idea what they want to
do when they go to the plate to hit. All they think about is
getting a hit and raising their average. But I think that it
should be more. They should go up there wanting the force the
pitcher to come to them and let the pitcher get him out instead
of getting himself out. By that I mean, many of our hitters
would rather see a fastball, no matter where in the count and
swing at it. That should be our goal as a hitter. If you look at
the Oakland A's and NY Yankees, they have the BEST examples of
hitting that I can provide comparison too. As for the A's, it's
an organization wide philosophy that it's players need to be
good patient hitters before they can get called up. Good patient
hitters are described by the A's as a hitter with a good average
and even better on-base percentage. On-base percentage tells you
many things about a hitter. It specifically tells you how they
approach an at bat. If a player has a high OBP it means they
must walk a lot. Walking a lot means they are taking and seeing
a lot of pitches. To me, that's the key to having successful at
bats which in turn helps the batting average which in turn helps
the team. The more you're on base the more you're going to
score. the more runs scored the better your chances of winning.
Taking pitches allows you to possibly see every pitch a pitcher
has. If a pitcher has 3 pitches, which in our league is good,
you have a good chance of seeing all 3 before your at bat is
over by forcing him to go deep in the count. It's not always
going to happen, but to me, you should at least see three
pitches. It takes 3 pitches to strike you out, so you should be
seeing three pitches. There are always exceptions, but 3 pitches
to me should always be a minimum. Have I always followed my own
advice. No. But I would say that at least 95% of the time I see
3 or more pitches in an at bat. If we were to do that as a team,
then a pitcher would be forced to pitch at least 81 pitches to
get all 27 outs in a game. Taking for granted that we are going
to get hits and score runs and have at bats that go beyond 3
pitches, then what we've done is forced a pitcher to go beyond
the normal amount of pitches a pitcher should throw in a normal
ballgame. But that also takes into account that the pitcher has
been in the game the whole time. Our goal as an offensive team,
is to make the pitcher go deep into counts which in turn makes
him work harder and throw more pitches which in turn makes him
tired. It makes his arm tired and the end result is that the
pitcher will lose velocity and accuracy. When he loses accuracy,
he will over compensate and force himself to make good pitches
which will then force him to leave one over the plate for you to
hit. In our league the best example of a pitcher like that is
the pitcher for the Broward Indians. We, the Mets, have faced
him 3 times and all three times he has lost to us. Why has he
lost you say, because each time, he has been in the game 1-2
innings too long. That's a team problem no his, but he is
adversely affected because he is forced to stay in the game.
He's tired, he's slower, his pitches are not as effective as
they were in the first few innings and he's struggling to throw
it over the plate. BAM! we pounce and we score 4 runs. BAM!, we
pounce and we score 3 runs. BAM!, we've just opened the game up
from a tight game to a blow out. BAM!, we've just won again. On
a professional level, the Yankees do that to teams by taking
pitches, getting hits and then, in turn, it forces the opponent
to go to their bullpen, which is never better than their
starters. Waiting for your pitch will pay off. Not all fastballs
are created equal. And that's what you have to recognize as a
hitter. Wait for YOUR pitch. Do not hit a pitcher's pitch. Hit
the HITTERS pitch. He will give it to you. Sometimes, you may
not hit it and sometimes you will. But your chances are greater
if you force him to throw more pitches that he wants. It's a
mental game between batter and pitcher. You have to know that if
you have a game plan as a hitter, then you probably have an
advantage over the pitcher because the pitcher knows that most
batter don't have a plan against a pitcher. Take pitches, take
walks. That old saying that a walk is as good as a hit, is oh so
very true, because it means you're on base, where you can make
things happen, just by making the pitcher have to pitch
differently. On base means more runs. Which means more W's,
which means more fun. Isn't that what it's all about?
Journal Entry #9
May 13, 2003 -
When it comes to my team, I try to take pride with the players I
assemble and with the way the team plays. I'm proud to say that
we are one of the more "controlled" teams in the SFBL. there are
so many teams that are out of control. On top of that, many of
the managers also are loose cannons. When you see players on
other teams get ejected, it's because their managers cannot
control them. What I like about our team is that most of us see
the bigger picture. If they get thrown out, not only do we lose
him for the remainder of that game, but for the next game as
well. To me, to get thrown out of a game in this league is to be
selfish and only think of yourself. On our team, most of us,
most of the time are not selfish. I think there are always times
when someone can get selfish and that's only natural. As a
whole, the team is very "team" oriented and see our main goal as
the Championship. There can be no other goal. All the offensive
stats and numbers only show off the player. That's great if it
can come with the ultimate prize. Much like in Major League
Baseball, most times, the MVP is on a winning team. That's what
I want for us. I want us to have a MVP type caliber player that
helps us get the big prize. If not, it's only numbers that were
achieved during a season of disappointment. Right now we're
4-2-1. that's not bad. The best we could be is 9-2-1 and the
worst 4-7-1. I think we can get close to the former, but we
mustn't forget that with a swing of a bat and a string of bad
luck, we can easily be more like the latter. We are a good team.
I think that most of us don't even realize it yet. I hope we
don't. I hope we just chug along and finish the season very
strong and head to the playoffs with momentum.
Journal Entry #10
May 20, 2003 - Are you kidding me? Why did this team win on Sunday? We should
have lost our asses on Sunday, but we didn't. As a team we
struck out 17 times. How did we win? When you strikeout 17
times, that means that there were only 10 other outs made that
were not K's. But alas, it's what you do in between those outs
that matters most. In between those outs, we hit 2 home runs, 2
doubles and scored 6 of 7 runs without the assistance of errors.
Now some of you may say "that's not true, what about the wild
pitches and passed balls?" Well, we only scored 2 runs in that
process, only 1 of which is unearned because it was 2 errors
that lead to 1 of those runs scoring. Wild pitches and passed
balls are not team errors, like misplayed balls and such. They
are battery errors and since they are reflective of the pitching
and catching performances, they count as earned runs. In between
all the K's on Sunday, we were quite productive. I was very
happy to see that, because after a 2 week layoff, we have a
tendency to come out flat. We didn't. That says a lot about our
team. But at the same time I was more than disappointed to see
many players on the team show up late or not at all. We cannot
take this "thing" for granted. We have 4 more games left and we
need to win all our remaining games. Can that happen? Of course.
Will it happen? I don't know the answer to that. My guess is
that it won't. There are some very good teams in this league and
any of them can beat anyone at any time, especially if we take
it for granted that we will win. I don't take anything for
granted. But apparently, some of the team does. I'm sadly
disappointed by this. But what can I do about it? Some of those
very same people that show up late, are major contributors to
our winning ways. It's difficult for me. That's why I get upset
and let it show. I want this team to see how much I care.
Because it's becoming evident to me that some of the team
doesn't care. For those of you who don't care, let me know. I'll
get someone else for next season. It's no biggie for me. I've
struggled with that in the past and I'll get through it again.
But I like who we have on the team. I just wish they'd care
more. But they'll realize that their non caring ways will
eventually affect them on the field, whether it's by their own
epiphany or by team punishment, they will realize it. Because
it's coming to a head at some point. It cannot continue to
fester like this. It will implode at some point. The real Mets
are kind of going thru something like this. Winning covers all
the ugly boils and scars of a team. Losing exposes all the
problems and ugliness that can ruin a team. As long as we keep
winning, we'll look like fashion plates, if not we'll look like
the ugly wart on the face of an ugly woman, not that attractive.
Journal Entry #11
June 5, 2003 - I am amused by some of the reactions that I have received to my
e-mail for Sunday's game at 8:00 in the morning. If you missed
it, which I can only imagine a few of you missing it, it
challenges you to show up on time and be ready for the game. Why
do I put it like that when I say the same crap every week?
Because this time I mean it. I'm so tired of fighting this "war"
regarding dedication and desire. I shouldn't have to do that.
The Kendall Reds of the Senior division are a great example of a
"team". After one of our games this year, they hung out in the
parking lot and enjoyed themselves with food and drink and the
like. We did that once. But to me it was more like, "Thanks for
the Food, see you later" than a team gathering. Then some on the
team wanted it every week. But I would not do such a thing again
unless there was more participation from the receiver of good
will. Meaning, I want to see some of the guys bring stuff other
than my wife, Vanilin and Liz. But I can't ask for the world can
I? What I do ask for though is dedication. And this weekend will
determine whether some have it and whether some don't. I can
already know who will screw it up on Sunday and who won't. It's
obvious week in and week out. But this Sunday will be a turning
point because of the time and location of the game. For the
biggest culprits to my dismay, this game is far and early. Too
things that don't make for a good time to be had the night
before. But I don't care about that. They signed on to play and
they knew there would be early games and travel games. On
Sunday, we are playing a team that has played us well every time
we've played them. We have been fortunate to be on the winning
end of the stick each time we have played them, but you can't
win every game and I'm sure they realize their record against us
and are looking to come after us a little harder. They will make
the playoffs this season because of their weak division. My team
on the other hand needs to continue to play hard every week to
keep the momentum and hopefully we can make the playoffs. It's
going to be tough, but I have faith in this team. Not everyone
on it, but as a whole. Will I be let down again? Maybe. If I am
though, I will do a lot of soul searching in the short
off-season
we have and determine what I want to do for next season. For now
though, I have this season to concentrate on and the challenge
to look forward to on Sunday. Who's up for the challenge? We
will have to see.
Journal Entry
#12
June 13, 2003 - Sorry for the late entry. But I've been busy. Too bad, right?
It's my journal anyway. HaHa. Anyhow, I've finally gotten over
last Sunday. I think what happened Sunday was not out of
frustration, but more out of something Eddie Hernandez and I
spoke about on the phone a few day prior to the game. We spoke
about how the team is and how much he enjoys playing on THIS
team because of the vibe and energy and all the fun he's having
this season. We also spoke about some of the weaknesses that
this team has and that hopefully we can overcome them when the
playoffs come around. One of the things we talked about was the
lack of attention that the team displayed when I had the meeting
at Killian some weeks ago. He told me that next time to just
stop the meeting and either start the game or go home depending
on when the meeting is. SO, when I attempted to do that, it was
Eddie that stopped me from leaving and it was that attempt to
keep me from leaving that set me off. And then that when my
tirade began. I had no intention of yelling at anyone, but when
I got set off, it just flowed. The frustration of baby sitting
players. The frustration of players not paying attention. The
frustration of players doing what they want. The frustration of
people not showing up. The frustration of players not knowing
the signs, even after we went over them. Why should I have to
constantly remind players of the signs. Are they that mindless?
Is their attention span that short? I don't get it. Maybe I
should just stop trying to get it. But during the argument or
whatever you want to call what happened, it was stated that I
should just stop treating the players as babies and more like
men. So I will. I will treat them as responsible adult males
that can take care of themselves. 1 e-mail and 1 phone call for
the ones with trouble getting e-mail. After that, they are on
their own. Let's see how long this lasts. O Me of little faith.
Let's see how long it lasts. The playoffs are coming...
Journal Entry
#13
June 28, 2003 - Ahhhhhhhhhh... What a vacation. 5 1/2 days at Disney World. You
spend a week away from it all and nothing seems better. Then
reality hits and you have to return home. The money's gone. The
extra food is gone. The money's still gone. Then you're home
and you have to get back to what you do all year long except for
the week to 2 weeks that you have vacation. Well for me, getting
away from it all happens most every Sunday for me when I play
ball. It's a pleasure for me to go out every Sunday, put
together a lineup and play the game. You know, it's amusing to
me to think, that baseball is the only sport that can be called
a few different names and still be understood as baseball. "I'm
going to the game tonight!" "The Game" Baseball is known as the
game. You don't refer to a football game as "The game". It's
referred to by the local team's name. Dolphins Game. Giants
Game. Cowboys Game. Raiders game. But when it comes to baseball,
it's "the game." Or "the ballgame." "I'm going to the ballgame
tonight honey, see you later." You most definitely know that the
person means a baseball game and not a basketball game or soccer
game. It's strange that way, but it's part of what makes
baseball such a great game. Tradition. History. It's the only
sport without a time limit. It's not played in quarters, but
innings. It's one of the few sports that uses odd numbers more
than even numbers (e.g. 3 outs, 9 innings, etc.) But a baseball
history lesson is not what this entry is about. As I was getting
back from vacation earlier this afternoon, I was thinking about
the team and my thoughts wandered about how disappointed I am in
my team. I've challenged a few players and the challenge has
been side stepped and thrown away. I've dared players to care.
They still don't. During my tirade a few weeks ago, I asked how
many of the team cared. Most everyone raised their hands. Was I
dreaming when I saw that? No. I just think that people really
don't understand the meaning of care or caring. Some of the
players really do care and really do understand. But a few of
the others do not. Caring is doing all the things that you're
supposed to do on the field. Whether you do them correctly or
well is different from doing them at all. Caring is busting your
ass to be on time and to be prepared. Being prepared. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's the motto of the Boy Scouts. I can count on
one hand how many players on this team were Boy Scouts. If I
were to guess right now, my guess, including myself, would be 2
or 3 tops. We'll find out tomorrow. Until then, I'm going to go
to sleep and dream about the team that I had earlier in the
season that took no prisoners, asked no questions and never
worried about the other team. Maybe being in Disney for a week
has clouded my mind, but aren't dreams supposed to come true?
Journal Entry
#14
July 3, 2003 - Well the season is finally over...oh yeah, we made the playoffs.
Should we have? I think we deserve a shot. We played well until
the last few games, but I think we'll be ok come next week. I
was very pleased with how we played on Sunday and I only hope
that it can carry over to the playoffs. We stand a good chance
to go deep into the playoffs. Funny how that sounds because if
we win on the 13th, we're in the Championships. The playoffs are
only two games and done. Oh well. Getting back to the team. I
want to address something that seems to have popped up a lot
recently. I'M NOT GRUMPY!!! I understand that some of you guys
may think that I'm pissed or upset or just plain grumpy. Well
it's really not like that. The plain truth is that I want to
win. I want to play my best every time out there. I want to
succeed where I've failed before. In order to do that, there
needs to be discipline. That's what this team lacks. I try to
bring that to the team, but the team's lack of "desire" or I
should really say "motivation" prevents me from implementing
that discipline. If this were a paying job and you guys got paid
for playing, many of this team would be fined on a weekly basis
or even cut altogether. But it's not that way and I have to try
and come to grips with that. But it's hard because I want "it"
so bad. I want that Championship. I want that trophy. I want
that title. I want it all. I would think that everyone on this
team has the same desire, but it doesn't show that way. When we
lose, I want the team to hurt because of it. I want the team to
walk away with an empty feeling of disappointment and emptiness.
An emptiness of something missing. That missing thing would be a
victory. But I know this is a "Sunday" league and for most of
us, it's just another day in the week. I know that. I have those
feelings, but I get over it quickly. I get over it in the car. A
tough loss is a tough loss. I hurt and then I move on. What I
want from you guys is half that feeling. But many of you don't
even show a quarter of the emotion or feeling that I have for
this game. But I understand that everyone is different and that
everyone shows their feelings in a different way. This past
Sunday, I wasn’t mad at anyone. Nor was I grumpy, but if it came
across that way, I apologize. But at the same time, I shouldn’t
have to tell my outfielders to get into position. I shouldn’t
have to tell my captain to hustle up the line or down to home.
But I did. Elis cares. I care. A few more care. I think everyone
cares. But I need you guys to show it more. I need you guys to
show me that you care. Be on time. Be ready. Be prepared. I’m
afraid somewhere along the way, my “grumpiness” may affect the
way you guys feel about me and may affect your decision to stay
with the team. I think I’ve collected one of the best teams I’ve
managed and played with in all my seasons as a manager. I’d love
to keep the team together for a few more seasons. But there will
always be attrition. It’s natural. But I don’t want to have to
start from scratch. That would suck. I think for the most part,
most everyone is coming back next season. But what about the
season after that? And after that? I know no one can predict the
future or commit that long of a commitment, but I want to make
sure that decisions to leave are not because I was grumpy, or
that I yell too much. Or because you feel like I treat you like
a child. If you or your teammates have a problem with something
I say or do, come up to me and tell me. Let me know after the
game or call me later that night or the next night. But don’t
let it fester and don’t keep it bottled up and let it go. I have
an open door for anyone to talk to me. I am always available
with an open ear and an open mind. Remember, I’m not grumpy, I’m
just motivated.
Journal Entry
#15
July 10, 2003 - Butterflies in the stomach. I got them just thinking about this
coming Sunday. But it's just another game. Right? Of course.
Maybe not though. Would you consider a playoff game, just
another game? Would you consider the Super Bowl, just another
football game? Well for us, playing in this "Sunday" league, as
some like to call it, this is our Super Bowl. Well maybe not
this game. This game is more like the NFC Championship Game. It
determines whether or not you go to the Bowl or not. But my
nervousness is two-fold. I am nervous about the game, but I'm
actually more nervous about my players showing up on time. First
things first, it's a "road" game. The team has to travel to
Broward. That right there would just get most anyone nervous
because of their reputation. But then to top it all off, it's a
Broward game at 10:00AM. That's the part that really make me
nervous. How are my players going to treat this weekend. Like
any other? Or will they actually respect the game and the team
and at least get home in time for the 5:00 o'clock news. That's
the 5:00 o'clock in the morning news mind you. We'll have to
wait and see. I was also thinking about Indians. I don't know
how to feel about them. Up until just a few weeks ago, we owned
them. They couldn't beat us. Sure they could be in the lead or
close behind us, but we always seemed to find a way to distance
ourselves during the game. But not back in Early June. We got
spanked and spanked hard. 10-1. We had nothing. We gave nothing.
Earlier in the season, we beat them 14-10. It should have been
14-6, but we let them have some runs late in the game. The
season before it was 5-3. Before that it was 8-5 I believe. All
victories for us. 8-5 was my victory. I pitch all 9 innings and
struck out 11 of their batters. 5-3, we hit back-to-back homers
in the 8th gave us the W. 14-10 and we just exploded for 13 runs
in the final four innings of the game. But thinking back to that
game, we were held to 1 run for the first 5 innings. After 6
innings we were down 6-3. I think in the end, we were lucky to
win that game. Our defense was horrible that game. But things
have changed since that game. What has changed I really can't
tell you, but I know we've changed. But it all comes down to
this coming Sunday. The motto is WIN or GO HOME. Which one do we
want to do? I'd prefer to win. How bout you?
Journal Entry
#16
July 14, 2003 - Wow, what a weekend I have had. I'm tired. It was a long weekend
for me. I want to first start by mentioning, that I have yet to
even celebrate our victory on Sunday because I am still
recovering from the weekend's events. So I must
mention, the reason for my long weekend is several. One, my Aunt
and Grandmother went out of town on Saturday morning. The flew
to NY out of Ft. Lauderdale. Well, since the 9/11 thing, you
know how security is at the Airports. Well their flight was at
8:00AM. They were told by the airlines to be their at 6:00AM. We
live in way out West Kendall. Guess what time Dean was up and
about on Saturday? 4:45AM. That's cool, because I can go back to
sleep, right? Wrong. You see it all started on Friday. Because
my son took a 3 1/2 hour nap on Friday afternoon. He didn't feel
like sleeping on Friday night. So he was up until 1 in the
morning, as were his parents. OK, so now I'm working on 3 1/2
hours sleep roughly. But I can't go back to bed because I have a
meeting with my insurance agent that was set up during the week
that I couldn't get out of. We had been trying to meet him for a
month now because we switched offices. But enough about that.
So, that meeting is at 9:30AM. Great! I can go back to sleep
after that right? Nope, we went out to do our weekly necessity
shopping and then, I had my manly house chores to do. Well, I
figure now, I can sneak in a nap in the afternoon
when my son goes for his afternoon nap. Cool. Oh, but wait! He
got up at 8:30 this morning. He doesn't want to nap. Are you
kidding me? So he doesn't fall asleep. So neither do I. OK, so
now, after doing all the things I needed to do for the day,
except for one, I'm now ready for bed. It's 10:30 and I'm out.
Great. Sleep time. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!.
What!?!?!? Baby awake at 11:45PM?!?!? Yup. Brandon couldn't stay
sleeping. A bad dream of sorts. He was balls out crying until
1:00AM again. He came into the room with us. Wake up! It's now
6:45 AM. Time for the playoff game. Get ready. Get dressed. Get
clothes together because after the game, I'm going to Orlando.
That's right. Orlando. To see Metallica in concert. OK, drive to
Hollywood. Play game. Win game. Yeah. Drive. Drive. Drive. In
Orlando by 5:00PM. Linkin Park is now on stage......Limp Bizkit
is now on stage......Metallica finally hits the stage at
9:00PM. Metallica says goodnight. It's now 11:00PM. Leave
show, get in car. Drive. Drive. Drive. Home and in bed by
4:30AM. But wait, I have to work.......No, I called in. I'm
done. Goodnight.
Journal Entry
#17
July 14, 2003 - I'm exhausted. Not much sleep on the weekend. But man was this
weekend worth it. I can't begin to describe what I was feeling
yesterday. The game made me feel great. I am so proud of our
team. But it's still not complete. As proud as I am, there is
still unfinished business to take care of. There's one game
left. Then and only then, will I feel complete and satisfied to
thoroughly enjoy our victories nad success. But nonetheless, I
am extremely happy that we won yesterday. I'm really sorry to
the team for not being able to celebrate with them, but I was
off to Orlando to see Metallica. I have a few passions in my
life and baseball is one of them. I eat, breathe and bleed
baseball. My other passions in life are my family. My wife,
daughter and son mean the world to me and I would do anything
for them. My other passion in life is music. In this particular
case, Metallica. I've been a fan for 18 years. I have
permanently marked my body with their logo. I am a fan. I am
hardcore. On Sunday, My passions were flowing in my veins from
morning to night. My family and friends at baseball and my
friends along with me at Metallica. Would I trade yesterday July
13 for anything. Not really. I was a great day. From morning to
night. Eddie Hernandez mentioned yesterday that I was happy and
maybe even smiling. I was. Not because we won. But because of
how we won. Our team was together and prepared (prepared as much
as it was going to be prepared) for yesterday's game. We came
together yesterday. We will come together again next Sunday.
Finally, after all these weeks of bitching and complaining and
being "grumpy" as you guys like to call it and me being "Coach
Cosme" with everyone, this team took care of business. There was
no horsing around. There was no lollygaging. Business. That's
all I ever asked for. I finally got it yesterday. That, and the
fact that we went up 4-0 in the first inning, put a smile on my
face yesterday afternoon. At 4:30 in the morning today, I was
still smiling. We executed our game yesterday with surgical
precision, only causing a scare once (sorry guys, that was my
fault) but nonetheless, we prevailed. When we play as we played
yesterday, there is no stopping us. That's why I felt and still
feel we are the best team in our division. Next week we'll prove
it.
CHAMPIONS!!!
(Journal Entry #18)
July 20, 2003 - What
else can I say? This has been one of the most fantastic seasons I've
played in this league. And it came down to one of the most fantastic
games I've ever been involved with. To come down to what it did in the
bottom of the 10th inning and for it to come down to Joe Ramirez, it was
special. I say it was special with Joe because Joe struggled all year
long. After having a great season last year, Joe never got it going this
season like last and I dropped him in the order to get him better
pitches to hit. And for the final run to come down to Joe making it, was
very, very satisfying. We have many guys on this team that deserved the
shot Joe got and actually had a few with that shot, but it was Joe who
answered the call. I so damn proud of this team. I'm so damn happy for
guys like Eddie Hernandez, who joined my team in the Spring 98 season
and has had his own rollercoaster with us. I'm happy for Carlos Ruiz who
joined the team at it's highest struggles and still continued to play
like the All-Star that he has been. I'm happy for Ruben who has
struggled with the team for several seasons and finally turned it around
to make a major contribution the past few seasons. I'm happy for Elis,
who came to the team and has been the leader of it since he joined. I'm
happy for the rest of the guys who helped get us to this point: Danny,
who has played in invaluable part in helping me pitch my best when I was
needed to take the mound. To Mario, Enrique, Carlos Yedo, Humberto,
Michael and Fernando: we couldn't have done it without you guys as well.
You all played a major role in getting us to the finals and helping us
win the Championship! I also want to thank Eddie Fuentes and Jose
Martinez. Even though it was only for a few games, you both helped when
you were here. You may say to yourselves that it didn't matter what you
minor contributions were, but the fact that you guys contributed, was
more than enough for me. This was a team effort. We lose as a team and
we win as a team. This time, our team won it all!
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